Win Wednesday

This is a DEFINITE win. :) I LOVE IT. :) it reminds me of my beautiful mom.
And these amazing men made it all possible:


More Than Words.

19 and 1/2 years ago my Mom and Dad went into the hospital and 52 hours of labor later...... 
They had ME! :) i was worth the 52 hours. ha

Its true, I can't really remember 19 years ago. . . But ever since I can remember...I have been absolutely in love with my dad.  Today is his 44th Birthday, and I have been thinking back on the amazing life he has given me all day long. 

I have always wanted to make him proud. I would ask him every question I could think of, just to feel like I was important. I would beg him to take me to work, even though he would tell me over and over how boring it was going to be.

Being the "problem" child in the family (i know! Me! the problem child!? must be joke....)... I had more times they I can remember when my dad would take me on a drive or to get ice cream, just him and me, and he would talk to me about why I shouldn't be rude to my sisters and how Princesses never act like that.
And that is the best thing I think my dad has ever taught me. If you want to be a princess you have to act like one. Because we all have to make a choice every day in every situation... Are we going to be Princesses or Witches. My dad was always there to remind me which one would be the best choice.

He taught be A LOT of other cool stuff too:
Like why the best of  Jewel and Pink Floyd belong in every CD collection
How important education is
That an A is good, but an A+ is ALWAYS better.
That you can choose your actions but you can't choose your consequences.
That kissing pictures don't belong in wedding invitations.
That I want to be a builder not a wrecker.
That there is only one chance to have a first reaction.
That opinions have a correct time and place to be shared.
That you don't have to tell everyone exactly what you are thinking 24/7.
That we should always assume people are trying to do good.
That its always better to do a great job the 1st time.
That judging others is the fastest way to be judged.
That we can ONLY choose how we act.
That I can't control everything. Even if I try.
That is it ALWAYS dumb to put the cart before the horse.... (i think i've learned that one more than a few times...)
That our work ethic reflects on who we are as a person as well as reflects on our family.
That no matter what, placing God first will always produce the best outcome.
and many many more.

My dad is the best man I know. He is someone I respect and look up to, and I know that when he says he'll do something... He will do it. I know he loves our Heavenly Father. I know he loves my Mom. And i know he loves me. 

On August 18th 2010, as i sat listening to my Dad speak at my wedding luncheon, in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.. the temple (my own Castle) glistening behind him... My Dad told of how he always reminded me to choose to be a Princess.  He asked Ben to remember i was a Princess, even on days when I forget.. . That day, i definitely felt like a Princess. 
I can honestly say that without my dad reminding me over and over throughout my life. I would have forgotten... and the hard days would have been harder, the sad days even more sad, and who knows where I would be. 
I have been blessed with the best kind of Dad, a dad that can teach and discipline.. but still remain my best friend. and I will forever be grateful for the amazing example he has set for me. 
 I love him, and I will always be his princess. 

Happy 44th Birthday to my Knight in Shinning Armor. 


Let Freedom RING

Lets take a trip back to last June. Ben and I were engaged, and I was thinking about how excited I was to pick out his wedding ring. :)  Everyone that has spent a good amount of time with me knows that I LOVE LOVE LOVE JEWELRY. I mean, i am my mother's daughter. That woman knows more about the 4 Cs than anyone I've met. (p.s. if you don't know the 4 c's look it up. Its quality info to be familiar with.) 
Ben spent so much time picking out my ring. I didn't have one clue about what it looked like. Although I begged  asked politely, nobody would tell me..He wanted to make sure it was perfect. :) plus, he knew how picky I was with jewelry, so he was extra careful. AND I LOVE IT!! 
So i had to make sure I took that much care and effort in picking out his. And i found it. Funny, because I ended up finding it at Shane Co. (my most favorite jewelery store....delicious) and thats where Ben got mine too! Mr. Shane never disappoints. I was so glad I found the perfect ring. And they matched perfectly with each other. :) see? Ben's ring is actually a variation of this one. His has smaller squares with matte and shinny alternating slats... i couldn't find it on their website. but i found mine!

Now lets go back to the present. . . Ben is at Ground School, and since in his job he is flying all over in huge military planes. Its not a smart idea to be wearing any kind of jewelery.. something about getting your fingers yanked off. I know, their priorities are messed up.. Not to mention he is at school with a bunch of airmen, some smart and nice... some.... not so much. So taking anything valuable with you is risky business.  (Ben's cousin Caleb actually had his wedding ring stolen while he was deployed a couple months ago :/ rude.) So Ben left his wedding ring here with me. 
It made me really sad to think he wouldn't be wearing it. So for Valentines Day I bought him a "work ring" :) It is just a sterling silver band that he can wear while he is on missions that wont make me sick if it gets taken or broken or lost. Its a whole lot cheaper than the white gold one. ha That made me feel better knowing that he could still have a piece of home with him. 
It has also left me with some comfort having his ring. I've been wearing it on a chain since he left. and i love feeling like i have a little part of my Ben with me every day. :) 

Its all scratched up! it needs a good polish!

I'll be keeping it safe until he gets back . :)


Married to the Military...

A couple weeks before Ben and I got married, I stumbled across a magazine titled Military Spouse

I was excited to discover this, because one thing I had been worried about was adapting to the military lifestyle. 
Although I knew a lot more than most people about the military life, I still had a lot of questions and concerns. I often researched things I was unsure of, and I really started to feel more comfortable with it.. I thought I had it mostly figured out. Ben's cousin Caleb is in the Air Force also (he is even in the same unit as Ben) and his wife Dany gave me a book for our wedding that I read while on our honeymoon.

It was really informative, and didn't sugar coat anything. I loved it! So by the end of our honeymoon I was thinking I was a pro at this military wife thing. . . . 


Oh boy, little did I know that no amount of articles, books, blogs, or magazines could prepare me for what was to come. 

First off, being alone... I mean, I knew Ben would have to leave eventually. We had talked about it a billion times, he was gone our ENTIRE relationship so it would be just like that.. right? WRONG. I had no idea how hard it would be to say goodbye after only being married for 2 1/2 months. It is a lot different having your boyfriend/fiancée' gone, I got used to it. We had never been together so it was easier to deal with. But after getting to be together and then having it all taken away....that was when it got hard. Not only did I now know what I was missing out on, but I also had that feeling like he was mine now. And that nobody should be able to take him away.
I had lived away from home before, but i definitely did not know what it was like to be completely in charge of my entire life. (financially, emotionally, spiritually, ect.)  I went from being a college student who's dad paid for EVERYTHING, my car, my gas, my food, tuition, clothes, EVERYTHING to having to keep track of all of our money and finances. Since Ben was gone and most of the time had no access to a computer or mail, it was me and me alone. I am an accounting/business major, and still I freaked out. ha 

Being alone in a strange place. I had no idea being this far away could be so hard. I had lived about 6 hours away from my family when I went to college. I thought that was far..... ha I miss knowing that if i had to I could be home by the end of the night. It was hard to adjust to living alone not knowing my neighbors or even where the nearest Walmart is. ha But one thing that has helped more than anything is being in a great ward. I have no idea what I would have done without the great people in my ward family. It has literally saved me. 

By far the thing I have struggled with the most is trying to talk to people about our situation.  I love Ben, and because I love him I am placed in a position to love the US Air Force. I've never heard "well you signed up for it didn't you?" so many times. For the record. It is hard being a military spouse. I don't care how strong, independent, or smart you are. It is hard work and it brings a lot of disappointment and pain, and just because I knew loving Ben meant I would have to deal with it doesn't make it any less hard. Yes, i'm learning to deal with it better, but I'll never be "used" to being alone. and i'll never be "ok" with Ben being gone. and I definitely will never be "fine" with having a lack of free will. and that is exactly what it feels like. Someone else is making decisions for us for up to the next 5 years. Sometimes I need to cry, and vent, and feel lonely. It doesn't mean I don't support what Ben is doing and it doesn't mean i'm not dedicated to the life we have.  It is just frustrating feeling like people think you should be perfectly happy and fine because "you knew what you were signing up for".  People don't say that to new mothers who are having a hard time figuring out how to raise children. . . .

No matter how hard it is, I would be lying if I didn't say that it is the most amazing experience I have ever had.  We are able to have so many opportunities we wouldn't have be able to have, and our lives have been truly blessed from being involved with the military. It has given me a deeper sense of national pride and true patriotism. I know this was the life God had planned for us. 

I am still learning how to be a wife and military spouse and I hope this helps others to understand what exactly that means.  I'm blessed to have a family that supports us. I can't say enough how grateful I am for parents that are helping us every way they can, I love them. 

I love our country and I feel honored and blessed to be serving it in this way. I would share Ben with only 2 things, God and my country. I'm lucky to have such a brave, dedicated husband. and i'm lucky to be able to call myself  a Proud Air Force Wife. :)  


I Love Benji!

In honor of Valentines Day I decided to dedicate a post to my wonderful husband Ben.

Here are some facts about Ben:
-His full name is Benjamin Luis Heder, named after his grandpa Luis. :)
-He is the most amazing singer. When i was in Jr. High, and Ben was in high school, there were girls I knew that were his age that literally talked about him 24/7. They were convinced he was their own personal Josh Groban. I remember being so annoyed and thinking that this "Ben kid" couldn't be that great. haha ironic....
-He loves his family SO much. He loves being there for them, and I know that if anyone in his family asked him for ANYTHING, he would be there in a snap.
-He has an amazing smile.
-He serves in the US Air Force as an Air Med Evac.
-He is a great dancer. I love watching him salsa. I wish I wasn't so dang bad at it, I know he wishes we could go dancing all the time.
-He talks A LOT. and i love it. It gives my voice a break, since usually i'm the one always talking. ha
-He is incredibly smart.
-He has such a strong testimony. I am amazed at how easily he can trust that everything is going to work out as long as we stay faithful. He teaches me so much.
-He is thoughtful. He always thinks of ways to surprise me with things.
-He is the CLEANEST guy i've ever met. He always (usually) cleans up after himself and helps around the house.
-We met about 7 years ago, when i was in 8th grade. And through all that time he has always been a gentleman to me.
-He is kind to everyone, even people that make him mad or frustrated.
-He doesn't get overwhelmed with silly stuff, it definitely helps keep me grounded.
-He is patient.
-He is good at arguing (one of my definite FAVORITE things about him. and i'm not being sarcastic. I can't stand arguing with people that don't know the technique. and since its pretty much my favorite extra curricular activity.... its very important that my hubby is at least decent at it)
-He is a great listener. I cant count the number of times i've called him and just ranted for hours without him getting mad or annoyed.
-He is a true Romantic
-He always take interest in my hobbies. He will pick out fabric with me or play tennis. He even helps me pick out clothes. I love it. Even though i know it is usually boring as heck for him he always acts like he had fun. ha
-He has great taste. He always jokes about how i'd let him pick out my outfit, but he wouldn't let me pick out his. haha
-He is so much fun! everyone has fun with him and he is always the life of the party. :)

And lastly he is DANG SEXY! ha
He may not be perfect but he is definitely perfect for me. :) I love you Ben. Thanks for being my husband & best friend.

I'm one lucky girl ;) ha



This week has been crazzzzzyyy.

Ben left. . . .
I'm sick again.
I actually enjoy American Idol.
I sold my first product on Etsy :)
Ben is coming home in 3-4 weeks.
My boss moved me up to 30+ hours a week.
I haven't done a complete workout this whole week.
I've become completely unmotivated with my school work.
Boss has decided he can't sleep without Ben, and I tend to agree..
Ben and I have made a great plan for the next few years.
I went through a whole bottle of Soy Sauce this week.
I keep having the urge to chop off my hair.
I miss Ben more than I ever have before.
Time seems a lot slower than normal.
I started biting my nails again.. . .
I CANT wait to buy a house.
and this week
more than
i know
i find

Lots of things have been going on. And some, if not most, have been crappy. But every thing will work out. And if everything is worked out.... at least i know its not the end.


White Picket Fence...

Ben has been home for 4 and 1/2 days. and he'll leave again in 2 and 1/2.  Its so crazy how fast time flies when we are together, but every time it really is so wonderful.
Sometimes i worry that we won't have the same relationship that other couples have that are together every day, that we will be behind in our marriage relationship.  But honestly i really think being apart has taught us that a marriage or any relationship really needs so much work, and I think that we have come SO far from the day we were sealed. It really does feel like we have been married FOREVER. ha
I can't remember what it felt like not to be married to Ben, and that is perfectly fine with me. :)
This week really has been amazing, and i'm so excited for the next few months. We have lots of exciting stuff to look forward to, and I can't wait to get it all figured out. I love the feeling of accomplishing a goal, and we definitely have a lot of goals to work toward!
Some really great news is that we have decided to buy a house!!! And i'm so so so excited. I hope everything goes the way we want it to. :) But for now. . . .
Look how cute this house is.

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