Gotta get your head in the game....

So. Packing = difficult. Who knew?
i thought this would be all cute and fun and easy.... WRONG-O. haha its hard! And i'm not even 1/3 of the way done yet. Actually I've only packed our gifts we received at my Bridal Shower. haha so basically.... Lots to do.
This is our pile of Boxes......

Ya.... Those are only bridal shower gifts..... 

Well on a brighter note!  Ben and I now have a FUTON!!! Hooooorrrrrraaaayyyyy! I was so excited! My aunts got it for us.  (not to mention the AMAZING other gifts we received at the shower... maybe i'll mention a few later.)  its so cute! Our living room will be White/Black/Red. it is so fun to plan our what our home will look like! Anyway. Here is the futon:

 SO cute right?! With some red pillows it'll make our living room absolutely adorable! haha

Also! I bought a kitchen table yesterday!!!! :) wanna see? ok, you don't have to beg..... ;)

Again, Cute huh???! haha i know i know, they really aren't AMAZING, but with the "Ben & Sam decorating awesome-ness" we add, it'll be great! haha

We were given SO many cute things at the shower, and I really am thankful for everyone that loves us.  We know some very generous people, and we are lucky! :)  Time to pack all this up and move it to Washington!!!! Ready, Get Set, GO!!!!!!!!



Double Two..

22 Days Left til our wedding day!!! :)
This past week has really been a whole ton of a lot better than it has been lately.
I have kind of come to terms with the fact that no matter how much i wish or complain, Ben can't come home.  He can't help with this wedding stuff and I can't see him every day.  But its ok! Because there are only 3 weeks and 1 day left!!!! And then we have the rest of forever to be together! :)
Wedding plans are going.... well they are going. haha I have ended up doing A LOT of stuff myself. mostly because i'm really picky. ha  I decided on doing my own invitations. . . Which were a TON of work. ha but i REALLY love the way they turned out.
Saturday we took bridals/gromals, and when I picked up my bouquet... it was the ugliest thing. So i took it apart, bought some more flowers, pearls, and ribbon... and made my own.
I wasn't planning on the whole DIY thing. But.... I like it a ton better.  :)  After all... if you want something done right.. Do it yourself. haha :)



Well for some reason I am in a HUGE ranting mood today.  And since I can't sleep......

I just want August 18th to come NOW.
I'm sick of planning stuff
I'm sick of doing stuff
I'm sick of worrying
I'm sick of stress
I'm sick of working
I'm sick of crying
I'm sick of Ben being away
I'm sick of having to do everything alone
I'm sick of not being able to sleep because I can't stop thinking
I'm sick of EVERYTHING

This whole wedding business is fun, really fun..... unless you have to do it alone... in which case it becomes LESS fun and more stressful.  I feel bad because i KNOW Ben can't do any of this, he just can't and thats the way it is.... but it still doesn't change the fact that I wish he could.  Every time I pick out something or make a decision it hurts.  I feel like this is MY wedding, not OURS.  I hate that.  This is not how I imagined things, and although i wouldn't change anything for the world.... I can't help but wish he was home, and that we could go to pick out flowers together, or even talk for more than an average of 30 minutes a day.  All i want is to stop feeling alone.. I hate it.  How can I find the most amazing person, fall in love, get engaged, and still feel like I'm doing everything solo? I'll tell you how... the US Air Force. Thats how. Its not fair.  I just want normal.  I just want Ben to be as much mine as I am his, but thats not possible. Because he isn't just mine, i have to share him.  I have to share him with this country.  And although there is not anything else I would rather share him with... I think I deserve a little bit of a break.  I HATE BEING ALONE. and I want him back.

Something that bothers me......

One thing that I have learned a lot in the past couple of years, and especially while being at a predominately liberal school.....is that in today's world there is an decreasing respect for the role of a mother.
Since getting engaged and long before that I have received countless lectures, emails, ect... based on the subject of: "Don't get married, you should be independent.....Finish school, or you wont be worth anything......Being a mom isn't a job......Don't become a 'Mormon Stereotype'". When i first started getting crap about all of this I found it amusing and the conversations usually ended in me explaining how i would not be quiting school when I got married and how i personally value the job of a mother higher than any other.
But now, it has stopped being amusing and started just making me angry. What has happened to this generation? We have become a people that value money over love, and careers over family. I don't know about you, but this is so disappointing to me. If it weren't for "stay-at-home-moms", many great adults would not be who they are today. Even mothers who have careers but still balance their job and being a great mom should be valued.
Since when is being a mom not considered a job? If you ask me, being a parent, a GOOD parent, is the toughest job on the face of the earth. And what makes being a mom different than ANY other job? You don't get paid monetarily for it.
So who should be held at a higher level of respect? The woman who never marries, goes to school, becomes a lawyer, makes lots of money, and lives alone but comfortably the rest of her life... OR the woman that goes to school, gets married, balances marriage and education, starts a family, and ends one part of her life to start another that is much more important?
It seems to me that the second woman is living a more SELFLESS life, and will be able to have much more in the end...Love, a family, and a feeling of accomplishment knowing that she was able to be heavily involved in the growing up of the children that will go on after her to make this society, in which we are losing faith in, a much better place.
A mom does more for this society than any politician, doctor, or lawyer. If she can be successful in raising her children in a world were family values and the golden rule no longer have a place, then she is accomplished in my book, and should be respected and looked up to.... no matter who says otherwise.
A womans worth should not be measured by how many degrees she was able to attain, or how much money she made in her life time.... it should be measured by how many people she was able to love, how many lives she touched, and the selfless acts she preformed while on this earth.
I personally hope EVERY mother is aware that there are still people who know their true worth, and I pray that they know it themselves.


Cutest Apron!

Bird Crafts

So there is this blog i follow called Bird Crafts, it always has the cutest crafts! :) I love it, and today they put up a give-away for Flirty Aprons! :) They are the cutest things ever! and since i'm going to soon be learning to create culinary masterpieces....(hopefully) haha i decided i need one. :)


Engaged!!! :)

A week ago yesterday we FINALLY got to go to Vegas. :)
Marianne and I left on Wednesday morning, It didn't seem like too long of a drive but i think it was mostly because i was so darn excited. haha
When we got off the freeway in Las Vegas, her car started acting weird. Like it was out of gas, but it said we had 30 miles to go til empty. So we were a bit confused. We tried to find a gas station....but the strip is a bit hard to drive down quickly. ha so we ended up drifting into the valet parking at a hotel. Lucky huh? haha by then it was 4 and Ben's plane was landing at 5, so we took a cab to a gas station, filled up a gallon of gas, drove back to the hotel, picked up the car and filled it with the gallon we had picked up, drove back to the gas station, filled up, and took off for the airport! It was definitely an adventure.
We got to the airport at about 5:10, and luckily right as we got there I got a text from Ben saying they had just landed. We waited, and waited, and waited. haha it seemed like FOREVER, and it was. haha
Finally after what seemed like an eternity i saw Ben get off the escalator. We ran to meet him and I received the BEST HUG i have ever had. haha I can't even explain the feeling of relief and happiness.
He put me down and kissed me, and I said "gee you took forever!" then Ben in his usual smooth self said "i had a good reason" then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. . . . Don't worry i said yes. haha
It really was the best thing ever, i couldn't have asked for a more perfect proposal. Or a more perfect RING! Its gorgeous!!!!

Marianne was so sweet to get pictures of it for us. :)

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