Gotta be Doing Something Wrong...

Do you ever feel like maybe your just doing everything wrong and although you think you are doing just fine everyone else seems completely disappointed in you? And just feeling like everyone else is disappointed in you makes you disappointed in yourself? Tonight feels like that. It feels like I could do everything perfectly and still couldn't make anyone happy. I hate it. I hate not feeling like i'm doing everything I can to be the best. I would rather do my best and fail then feel like I'm not trying hard enough and do a mediocre job. Sometimes I wish I could be someone else who doesn't expect so much or feel like everything needs to be perfect for a day. That'd be the ultimate vacation. I just want to relax and feel stress free. Even when i haveNOTHING on my To Do List, i just end up spending countless hours thinking of things I should have on my list. Even sleeping isn't restful. Even though I wouldn't call it sleeping... since it usually takes 4-5 hours to actually fall asleep. AHHH I just want school to end. I just want to wake up without thinking of all the things I forgot to do the night before. I just want my brain to stop running and running it gets tiring, and sometimes I think i'll run out of breath. . .



Well only 2 weeks left of school and I'M HOME!!!! I have to say.... i'm really excited. Excited to be with my family, excited to be able to relax, excited to be able to sleep in, excited to be with Ben's family, excited to just be HOME. :)
There is however something I am more excited about then going home........ Ben is going to be stationed at Nellis AFB (close to Las Vegas) at the end of June!!!! Which means he will only be about 5 hours away from me!!! And if i want i can see him every single weekend. :)
Plans have also changed for the summer... No more going to Texas. Instead we decided it'd be better if we just waited 4 days longer and spend the weekend in Vegas together. I'll get to pick Ben up from the airport when he gets to Vegas and then we'll spend the weekend together. :) I'm so excited, and adding 4 days to the tally of "not seeing each other days" isn't that bad. haha after all... we've already lived through what seems like a thousand days already. how hard is 4 more? Right??? I can do this....haha



Well today I am really happy :) Because i took my accounting test yesterday and I think i did really well! I was so worried about it and i stayed up til about 4 in the morning studying. But, it turned out great. :) What a relief. Now only 4 more weeks left of school and i'm done! I can do it.



Ok, so basically this semester i decided to try something new and take a Yoga class. And i have to say, i LOVE it. :) I didn't really like it at first...mostly because you have to be quiet and lets face it.... i'm not too good at that... ha But i have really come to enjoy it. It is so calming and it completely takes my stress away for that hour. I really think it has made me a happier person, just because it really does help me to relax. One thing i didn't realize about Yoga before i started the class was that it really does require a lot of strength. My favorite classes are the ones where we get to do head stands or hang upside down from the loops on the wall. ITS CRAZY!!! I'm going to be sad when that class is over. :(

5 weeks....

Well. Its been awhile since I posted anything. Lately school has been extremely stressful, and busy. I have never wanted summer to come so badly before. ha Usually i wish school would just keep going, but i'm definitely ready for a break. Its funny because it doesn't really seem like I have a ton to do until it all hits me at once... i guess thats just me being a procrastinator though. ONLY 5 more weeks left of this and i'm home. Finally. I miss it.
Ben is sick. I hate it when Ben is sick. It kills me. I wish i could just fly to Texas and take care of him, it seems like he has been so busy lately and it kills me to know he is just getting busier and busier when he is also getting sick. Someone should give him a break I think. ha But i guess thats just life. at least thats what Ben keeps telling me. It still doesn't change the fact that i just wish i could help. I hate that feeling of knowing i can't do anything.

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