2.13.2013

Our Baby Story- Little Bumps

Our pregnancy had been a dream come true up until this point, we had just found out (for sure) that we were having a little boy. And I was on cloud 9. I had never been so excited for anything, Ben would be home in 4 months and we were almost half way done with the pregnancy!
At our 16 week appointment they did the routine blood tests that every pregnant woman has at that point, and I didnt think much of it. But a few days later our doctor called me, and told me that the test came back abnormal. He told me that there was a 1 in 11 chance that our baby boy would have Downs Syndrome.
This really shocked me, I didn't know anything about anything he was telling me. And the whole time we were on the phone I could tell he was trying to make me feel like everything was ok, but I honestly don't remember a thing he said. So much was going through my head. 
I emailed Ben and explained what was going on, and luckily he was at his computer at the time and we were able to chat for a bit. I felt like all the smooth sailing and great news we had received until that point was all leading up to this moment. and I was in shock really. But not of the chance our child would be Downs, I was in shock that I honestly felt no different than I had before the doctor called. Yes, I was very scary news to hear. But after hanging up the phone, the only emotion I was overcome with was love. I knew that if our baby was that 1/11, it would not change anything for me. I knew we would love him and he would be ours just the same. I am grateful that our Heavenly Father helped me to see this.
2 weeks went by before I was able to get in to see the doctors at the University of Utah in order to do chromosomal testing, and during that 2 weeks I grew to love our little man more and more. I mentally prepared to learn that he would be special, and I was anxious to just have an answer either way so I knew what to expect and what to help Ben prepare for. I felt so bad for Ben during this time, I know he felt helpless and alone.
I went to the U Hospital and they did a number of tests and ultra sounds, after another week I got a call from the lab and everything was normal! Wow. I could not believe it, hearing that really made me think. How many people end their pregnancies after hearing much less chance of their child being different? While I was at the doctor he told me that they inform people at a 1/250 chance. We were 1/11, and the doctors and nurses were completely open, and asked a number of times, to us deciding that those chances were just too high and proceeding with an abortion. I was shocked at how many people brought it up during those visits to the doctors. I cant imagine even considering that. I love my son, and he is here with no issues at all, but if he would have... I would have loved him just the same. And what if we would have ended his life knowing there "might" be a chance he would be special like many many other couples do (most of the time for much less chance)??? I cant imagine returning to my Father in Heaven and finding out I ended my child's life and he was 100% healthy, I can't imagine facing him even if he wasn't. This baby was meant for us, 100% healthy or not.
Ben and I have a few people in our lives right now dealing with really hard situations. One couple we know just lost their baby girl after only 4 days on this Earth, one couple giving birth to a beautiful stillborn girl, and another couple is dealing with knowing their son will be born with heart, brain, and body function issues. I feel for these couples. And I feel a sting in my heart for that few seconds I considered being upset or angry knowing my son might have an issue, and then everything turning out perfect. How selfish would I have been to expect God to deal me a different hand, when these parents are dealing with much much more difficult circumstances. I have so much love and admiration for them, I know our Heavenly Father has a plan for them and their sweet babies. We are so very lucky that our little bump was not really a bump at all. The truth is that "The only disability is a bad attitude."
The rest of our pregnancy went as planned and although uncomfortable and frequently sometimes grumpy, I was healthy and so was our baby. I thank our Father for that every day.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...