5.21.2010

Gotta be Doing Something Wrong...


Do you ever feel like maybe your just doing everything wrong and although you think you are doing just fine everyone else seems completely disappointed in you? And just feeling like everyone else is disappointed in you makes you disappointed in yourself? Tonight feels like that. It feels like I could do everything perfectly and still couldn't make anyone happy. I hate it. I hate not feeling like i'm doing everything I can to be the best. I would rather do my best and fail then feel like I'm not trying hard enough and do a mediocre job. Sometimes I wish I could be someone else who doesn't expect so much or feel like everything needs to be perfect for a day. That'd be the ultimate vacation. I just want to relax and feel stress free. Even when i haveNOTHING on my To Do List, i just end up spending countless hours thinking of things I should have on my list. Even sleeping isn't restful. Even though I wouldn't call it sleeping... since it usually takes 4-5 hours to actually fall asleep. AHHH I just want school to end. I just want to wake up without thinking of all the things I forgot to do the night before. I just want my brain to stop running and running it gets tiring, and sometimes I think i'll run out of breath. . .

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