2.16.2010

My Hero


Well, one thing that has completely changed my life this past 4 months has been my relationship with the man of well.... my dreams. haha Ben is EVERYTHING i ever wanted and much much more. Its funny how things work out. :) A year ago in a couple months me and Ben started talking a lot (just texting) as friends. He is my best friend's (Lauren) older brother's (Ryan) best friend. haha i know. confusing. But basically we just had a lot of funny, pointless conversations. It was fun to have someone to talk to that wasn't romantic or weird in any way. Then as summer started we just stopped talking for awhile. I went to college, and came back for Lauren's brother Tommy's mission farewell one Sunday. . . and what do ya know? Ben was there, ha i think there were 3 words exchanged total....Ben: "Hey Sammie! How are ya?" Me: "Good, how are you?" Ben: "Good.". . . ha and that was it.
I went back to school and about 2 days later we just happened to be on Facebook at the same time. He started a conversation, and basically we talked every day from then on. It started off as just a short funny conversation each day, and then we started talking on the phone for hours at a time. Still we were just friends. I would tell him about guys i was dating, he would tell me about girls he was dating. and since we both dated a lot, that was what a lot of our first conversations were about. ha suddenly we stopped mentioning the other people. I had really started to like him, but I was wayyyy to scared to say anything about it. Which was completely opposite of my usual personality. ha The night it all came out i was at a party with my friends. Ben called me, so I went outside to answer it. He said he needed to talk to me about something. He went on to explain how he and a girl he had been dating were going to hang out that night, and how he wanted to know how i felt about it. I said he could do whatever he wanted and it wasn't my place to say anything. (when in reality i felt a giant rush of jealousy as soon as he mentioned it. haha) He paused for a moment and asked how i really felt. I told him i would be a "bit jealous". He laughed and from that night on things were different. I loved to talk to him, I loved staying up and listening to his funny stories or telling him about my day. He always listened when i needed to talk, and he always talked when i just wanted to listen. I loved it. We could talk about anything, and it wasn't ever boring or awkward. We talked about funny things, but we had a lot of serious conversations. Those serious conversations are where i really got to know Ben. He is amazing, the things he cares about, and thinks about, and worries about shock me. How can one person be so aware of the things that are going on around him? The one conversation i will never forget is the night Ben told me he was planning on leaving in January for BT in the Air Force. He asked me how i felt about it, but first he told me why he was doing it. That night i learned that Ben truly is a great man. He loves his country and he is willing to be the one to stand up for the things he loves. He talked about his family and how much they mean to him. He talked about his goals for life and what he wants for his future. And then he talked about the gospel, and what it means to him. That night I fell in love with Ben.
Ben came to visit me in Idaho as a surprise a few weeks before Christmas Break. It was the best surprise anyone has ever given me! I was a little worried because i had some tests to study for and lots of homework, and i didn't want him to get bored. But yet again, Ben amazed me! The whole time he was here he helped me with my homework and helped me study, and even told me to study..... which kinda made me huffy ( his word for when i get frustrated. ha) It was wonderful. I still can't believe he did that for me! :)
Christmas Break came and we spent almost every day together. I loved every second of it. He was so determined to never get me home late, and to be "at least 5 minutes early" each night. haha We learned a lot about each other during the break and it was great to get to spend time with each other's families. It was hard to know we would have to say goodbye. But we had to .... and we did.
I left to go back to school on the Sunday before he left for Basic, and it was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. But i know that this is only going to help us. It has been 38 days since i have seen Ben, but it still feels like we talked yesterday. He fits me perfectly, i can't imagine anyone else making me laugh so hard, or knowing just what to say exactly when i neeed to hear it. I can't imagine wanting to see anyone else every day, or thinking about anyone else every time i have great news. I want to be there for him, because he is always there for me. Good things last. And this is a good thing. I am so thankful for Ben and all he is doing. I'm the luckiest girl on earth, i know it. this all will be hard, and some days it feels like it wont ever end. But i know this is worth it. Ben is worth it. I love him.


Some girls wait their whole life for a prince..... and i found mine. :)

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